i saw way too much hate on ariana after 'the way' came out, and this hate was more specifically coming from polyvore. this video is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-ud5wQeOCk&feature=youtu.be
now try telling me she can't sing. i dare you. OOPS, YOU CAN'T. AHA. xo
 
my bby's perfect okaaay ♥ ♥

For @morethanamemory
Author's Note: This took me way longer than it should have and I apologize for the wait. I hope you like it even though it's almost nothing like the song. :\ x
-
This was the end of us, I was sure of it. He wanted nothing to do with me anymore, especially after what I'd said to him. My words echoed in my head, and no matter how loud I turned up the music on my speakers, they were still audible.
 
"I hate you, Niall. All you've ever done is ruined me."
 
I didn't mean it. Honest to God, I didn't mean it. I don't even know why I said it, let alone why I had to say it to /him/ of all people. I was far from hating him. I was in desperately in love with the boy, and all he's ever done for me was make my life better.
 
But today was different. He hurt me in ways that I couldn't comprehend, yet I still found a liking to him. Maybe that's why I said it. Maybe I just hate that I love him.
 
"Liz, could you open the door please? I want to talk to you." That all too familiar voice came into sound, muffled by our bedroom door.
 
I walked over to the stereo, turning down the volume before making my way towards the door. I held my hand to the doorknob for a moment before turning the cold steel to my left. Within a few moments, I was met with my boyfriend, his hands shoved into his pockets as he looked up at me with a pained expression on his face.
 
Just the sight of him killed me. He looked so upset, and it only made me regret what I said even more than I already had. He was probably just coming to break up with me, to make it official and separate us forever.
 
That idea was suddenly altered once Niall had wrapped his arms around my waist, holding my body tightly against his. We stood like that, completely silent as he held me in his arms. I was so confused; I'd been so sure that he was breaking up with me, yet he was acting like nothing wrong had happened.
 
"Niall, what are you doing?" I forced myself to ask, mumbling into his shirt as I clung to him.
 
I heard a chuckle escape his lips as he ran a hand down my back, "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm hugging you, idiot."
 
I felt a smile tugging on the corners of my mouth, shaking my head at his words. "I know, but why?"
 
Niall lifted his head for a moment, looking down at me with a small smile, "Because I love you, that's why. I'm your boyfriend; is it so wrong to hug you?"
 
I sighed softly, wondering why he was acting like everything was fine. He was supposed to hate me, supposed to be leaving me. We'd never fought like we did earlier, I thought that was the end of it.
 
"I thought you were, um, leaving… me." I confessed, fiddling with the collar of his shirt as I avoided his eyes.
 
Niall was almost awestruck. He quickly grabbed my hands, startling me just barely as he looked down at me with a two seas of blue in his eyes.
 
"Leaving you?" He confirmed, a crease forming between his brows, "You're kidding, right? After one stupid fight, you assume I'm just going to leave you?"
 
I shrugged my shoulders lightly, my lips pursing a bit as I felt my cheeks get hot from embarrassment.
 
"Liz, it was just a fight, okay? It didn't mean anything. Just forget about it." He flashed me a reassuring smile before pressing a kiss to my forehead, "I'd never leave you, I swear on my life."
 
I smiled up at him slightly, shaking my head from side to side. I supposed he was speaking the truth, though. Niall was kind of like a dog on a leash when it came to me, and I honestly had no idea why he was so addicted to someone like me. I was nothing special, but I appreciated that Niall managed to think otherwise, and I loved him for that. Thankfully, he was always loving me right back.
 
"And what if I get tired of you?" I asked with raised eyebrows.
 
He chuckled lightly and scrunched his nose, "Even then, I'm going to run right back to you. You'll just have to deal with it."
 
For that, I was thankful too. Niall was everything I could ever ask for and more, and I knew I was lucky to have him. I knew I could be difficult at times, but he's always come crawling back – again, for reasons I couldn't comprehend. He was practically a boomerang, and even though I teased him about it, I knew I'd never grow tired of him.

For @ssoundtracktomyheart
A/N: I honestly have no idea where I was going with this plot and it's like reaaaally long, so I apologize if it's not what you wanted. On a different note, that picture of Justin makes me want to jump off a bridge aha :) x
A/N 2: It probably seems like I'm always hating on my work ik, but it's just because I'm picky and self-conscious about what I write l0l sry~ And I didn't proofread because it was too long and I was tired okay.
-
Justin's View:
"Did I scare you?" I asked softly, chuckling through my words as Kenley looked up at me with wide eyes.
 
"Kind of." She answered, her voice laced with sleep as she spoke in a groggy tone, "I thought you had a date tonight?"
 
Even in her post-sleep haze with droopy eyelids and a head of messy hair, she still looked unbelievably beautiful. I kind of enjoyed sneaking into her bed in the middle of the night just because it meant I could see her like this, without the make-up or whatever else she does to make herself look better for the day. Seeing her right after she woke up never failed to amaze me, but I wouldn't dare tell her that considering it could ruin our friendship.
 
"I did, but she stood me up." I replied with a shrug. I hated admitting it out loud, knowing that I was stood up rather than the other way around, but I knew Kenley wouldn't even think of judging me for it.
 
"Well, that's her loss." She reassured, flashing me a small smile as she reached up and ruffled my hair.
 
As weird as it may seem for me to just randomly sneak into my best friend's house and crawl into bed with her, it was normal to us. Some friends like to hang out at coffee shops or backyards, and we tend to hang out at places like that too, but by the end of the night, we somehow end up in the same bed. We're a weird couple of friends, and Kenley's the only person I spend my time with just lying in bed and talking the night away.
 
We don't do anything physical or intimate (and that's mostly to my disadvantage); we just talk. It sounds pretty gay – I know, but it's us. You could say I'm whipped, but she's not my girlfriend (yet), so that term isn't really appropriate.
 
I liked that she had a habit of falling asleep in the middle of my stories. I never minded because I knew she tried her hardest to keep listening no matter how tired she was. It was probably one of the best parts of hanging out with her; getting to watch her fall asleep to the sound of my voice. I usually stayed a few minutes longer to admire her in her slumber before leaving her bed and sneaking back to my own house. She probably wouldn't want to wake up by my side anyway.
-
Kenley's View:
The last person I expected in my bed that night was Justin, but I was glad to find him crawling under the sheets anyway. Even though I knew he'd be gone by the time I woke, it still comforted me to fall asleep with him by my side.
 
I was always the one to doze off when we hung out like this, but I couldn't help falling asleep. He always managed to sneak in at the most ungodly hours, and the fact that Justin's voice was probably one of the most relaxing sounds in the world didn't help either.
 
The last thing I remember hearing that night was Justin murmuring something about the school dance and who he was planning on asking out. I tried keeping my eyes open for as long as possible, but it wasn't worth it. He was going to take some girl named Caitlin or Katie or something like that. All I know is it sure as hell wasn't Kenley and I hated hearing him talk about his dating life with me around – but I was the only person he talked about that with, so it was nice to know he trusted me with those kind of things. It was kind of bittersweet, I guess. Our whole friendship was bittersweet, but I'd rather be friends like this than nothing at all.
-
Justin's View (Two Years Later):
I crawled into the half-empty bed, joining my girlfriend as she remained still in her sleep. It had been a while since we'd done this, since I actually got the time to put my hand out and touch her and just be with her in general. Fame takes a lot out of my private life, and I really wish it didn't because it hurt to be away from her.
 
I scooted closer to her, curling my body against hers as my arm snaked around her slim waist. We practically fit together like a couple of puzzle pieces, and knowing just that put a small smile on my lips.
 
Kenley hummed softly in response to my movements, nuzzling her head into the pillow beneath her.
 
"Don't you have a meeting or something in the morning?" She asked softly in an attempt to sound angry.
 
She started to pull away from my grasp to prove the point that she was upset, and I couldn't understand why she would be. This was my first time spending time with her, after all. She could at least be a little happy to see me, right?
 
I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, shifting my body so I was no longer on her side of the bed, "Yeah, but–"
 
"But what? You thought you could sneak in my apartment and spend some time with me before leaving again?" She questioned, turning around to face me.
 
I couldn't make out the features of her face; it was too dark for me to see her, but I could tell she was upset by the sound of her voice and I honestly had no idea why. I wasn't upset, I was just confused.
 
I cleared my throat awkwardly, "Um… yes?"
 
She sat up straight, flicking on the lamp after doing so, "No, Justin."
 
I propped myself up on my elbows, trying to figure out where she was going with this, "I'm confused." I admitted.
 
"That makes two of us." She sighed softly, running a hand through her tangled hair. To this day, she still amazes me with her post-slumber beauty.
 
"What are we doing, Justin? I realize you have a busy schedule and that you can't help that, but I'm tired of it. I just want to be in a normal relationship where my boyfriend can actually spend the /whole/ night with me rather than sneaking in for a few hours and leaving before I even wake up. It's not working, okay? I'm done."
 
Kenley tried her hardest to keep her eyes away from mine, occasionally throwing her hands in the air and habitually tugging at the ends of her hair as she spoke. I admired watching her as she got more and more upset, and I knew it shouldn't have been as entertaining as it was to see her get mad. I couldn't help it, though. She gets so adorable when she's angry that I can't help try to force back a smile.
 
"Come here." I said softly, laying back down on the mattress as I put my arm out by my side in hopes that she'd accept my offer.
 
Fortunately enough, Kenley was crawling over to my side of the bed within a few moments with my arm tucked neatly beneath her waist. I managed to pull her a bit closer to me before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
 
"It's not going to be perfect, you know." I mumbled into her hair.
 
Even though it was probably the last thing she wanted to hear, I had to say it anyway. She tends to forget the important things, but I have no problem with reminding her every now and then – because if I wasn't there to reassure her, who would?
 
"I wish it was." She murmured in response, tracing endless designs on my clothed chest with her index finger.
 
I chuckled softly, shaking my head a little at her words, "I'll tell you what. If you promise you won't leave me, I promise I won't leave this bed until you wake up."
 
Kenley lifted her head to look up at me with a faint smile on her face, "You know for a fact I was never going to leave you in the first place."
 
I felt a grin forming on my lips before I leaned in to give her a quick peck, "Well you seemed pretty convincing for a second there, babe."
 
She let a small laugh escape her lips as she rested her head on my chest, uttering out an "I love you" before letting silence take over the two of us for a moment. I missed times like this more than anything, and I hated that my career got in the way of my relationship with Kenley.
 
I noticed her breathing had started to slow down, giving me the impression that she was starting to fall asleep in my arms. I glanced over at the clock on the side table, seeing that it had gotten to be about two-thirty. I should have been setting an alarm for seven by then, but I promised that I wouldn't leave this bed until she woke up in the morning.
 
Matter of fact, I think I'll keep that promise for all the other nights to come – I'll never leave this bed until she wakes up to me by her side. I'd done it way too many times in the past and I won't do it again. Not again.

For @its-me-darling
A/N: It took me a while, but I've got around to writing this and I had to post it before Polyvore does that maintenance thing. Hope you like it, though I went kind of flaky towards the end. xo
-
"Kayla? Are you in there, love?" Harry's voice came into sound, muffled by my bathroom door as he knocked on the wood.
 
I lifted my head and looked into the reflection in the mirror, in disbelief that I was actually looking at myself. My make-up had run down my face and my cheeks were literally painted in black all thanks to the constant running of tears.
 
I hated crying. I hated that I was upset. I hated that I couldn't be stronger than this, hated that I couldn't stop her or even give her the time of day when I had the chance. I hated everything about myself and I hated thinking that I was the reason she killed herself.
 
"Kayla, can you open the door for me, please?" Harry asked again, knocking on the wooden door a few more times.
 
/ No, / I thought. The last thing I wanted was for Harry to see me like this. Sad was an understatement. I wasn't sad, I was broken.
 
"Go away, Harry." I ordered, a little taken back by the sudden crack made in my voice.
 
I could hear my friend sigh on the other side of the door, listening as he leaned his weight against the door. I rolled my eyes to myself as I let my hand fall on the doorknob, reluctantly pulling it open. My friend almost fell forward before regaining his balance and looking down at me.
 
"I told you to go away." I repeated, quickly turning my face from him before he could see how terrible I looked.
 
"Well, I'm not leaving until I know you're alright." He answered as he reached out for my hand, "So are you alright?"
 
I felt my lips purse into a small pout as I turned around to face him properly. I shook my head slowly, looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows. He frowned slightly before wrapping his arms around my slim waist, pulling me into a tight hug.
 
"I miss her, Harry." I choked, burying my head into his chest. "I miss her so much. It's like I'm broken without her."
 
"Shh," Harry muttered, hushing me as he glided his hand through my hair. "It's okay, love. You're not broken; you're just fine. If that's the case, then I'll be here to fix you."
 
He continued to whisper soothing words into my ear before finally lifted my head to meet his gaze. I think I cried harder when his arms were around me, but that was probably only because I felt most comfortable with him around. I didn't care about what people thought of me or even what Harry thought of me because I knew he wouldn't judge me anyway.
 
"It wasn't your fault, Kayla." He reminded me and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "There was nothing you could do to stop her."
 
For a minute, I thought I believed him. Harry never lied, let alone lied to me.
 
"I wish I could believe you, Harry." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head from left to right.
 
"You / should / believe me, because I'm right." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, flashing me a small smile. "So are you alright now, love?"
 
I pursed my lips into a tight line and shook my head just barely. I knew it wasn't the answer he wanted to receive, but it was the truth. I felt terrible, and a hug from Harry wasn't going to fix things.
 
"Fine. Then I'm staying right here by your side until you swear to me you're alright." He promised with a confident nod before pulling me back into his arms again.
 
We stayed like that for a short while, and I was pretty sure the world stopped spinning for that little amount of time. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head from Harry's chest again and looked up into that familiar pair of emerald eyes.
 
"Harry," I whispered, feeling a smile tug on the corners of my mouth as he hummed in response.
 
He tilted his head down, our faces barely inches apart. I could literally hear my heart pounding in my chest and I couldn't help but wonder if Harry's was doing the same. Without even second-guessing myself, I pressed my lips to his in hopes that just a small action like that would make me feel better. It was to my surprise that it made me feel more than just better – I was on top of the world.
 
"You alright?" Harry breathed after we'd both broke the kiss.
 
"No." I answered honestly, smirking as a frown formed on his lips. "But I will be soon enough."
 
- And I will try to fix you -

fine china | chris brown
 
who needs breathing when you can pass out looking at these pictures?

fine china | chris brown

For @justmekori
A/N: This one probably sucks too because /again/, I've written a one shot based off of this song with Niall as the main guy... well this is actually really bad and wow i'm so sorry please don't read this i'm not exaggerating i'm so sorry again okay bye.
 
© 2013 @coolstory on Polyvore.com
–
How does one define love, exactly? I mean, there's no way of explaining if someone's definition of love is the /right/ definition, so how do you know what love means?
 
I know what love /feels/ like, or at least, I think I do.
 
Love comes in different colors, emotions, feelings. It might be the way you would describe it, but this is how I would. I'm sure I love her, but I suppose you could be the judge of that.
–
First comes hate. I know what you're thinking: Really, Niall? You have to hate someone in order to love them? Well, just give me a chance to explain myself.
 
The first time I saw Kori, I was literally stuck on her like glue. It was ridiculous. I couldn't get enough of her. I wanted to see her every second of the day, hear her voice wherever I went, and have her in my arms at all times.
 
The funniest part? She didn't even know my name. I'd memorized practically everything about her, and she didn't even know me. It was like the roles were switched or something and /I/ was the crazed fangirl obsessed with the pop-star.
 
To be honest, I hated that. I hated those stages of my life more than anything because she had consumed every bit of me, and she hated them too. I was really clingy, but I was on the road to falling in love.
 
When we started dating, it was tough – for both of us. With the pressure of my fan-base and the press on our shoulders, things were almost unbearable… and she blamed me for all of it. She said things like "maybe if you weren't in a goddamn boy band, we wouldn't be stuck in this mess" and hearing things like that come from her, well, it hurt. Because the last thing I wanted was to have put her through all this pain and I hated that.
 
But from hate, comes love, and if you still don't believe me, we'll move on.
–
Second comes lust. You can't love someone without being attracted to them, right? Don't lie; I'm right and we both know it.
 
I could honestly go on for days about Kori and how beautiful she is, and how easily I get lost in her eyes, and how I could spend my whole life admiring her, and how I might just be obsessed with her smile but… We won't go into that. Kori is the most beautiful girl I know and because I don't want to make you fall asleep while reading this, we'll just leave it at that.
–
And lastly, there's love. Technically speaking, you can't define love by using the word "love", but that's not what I'm doing anyway. From all these different feelings, from hate and lust and truth and everything else that I feel when I'm with Kori – comes love. I'm falling in love with her, or at least, that's what it feels like.
 
I don't know, when I'm with her, it feels like falling in love.
==
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http://www.polyvore.com/taking_requests_again_holla_me/set?id=75649252

For @auth0r
A/N: This was hard because I've written a one-shot based off this song with Niall as the main boy and yeah. It's kind of short and I'm genuinely sorry if it sucks.
 
© 2013 @coolstory on Polyvore.com
–
"Do you love her?"
 
I honestly wasn't sure what the answer to that question even was. Do I love her? Is that what this is? I'm in love with Ally? Maybe.
 
I took my time trying to figure out what to respond with. My mind ran through several memories of my girlfriend and I. I didn't even realize I had been smiling at the thought of them.
– – –
"I didn't mean to wake you." Ally muttered softly, her cheeks fading to a bright pink as she pulled her hand away from my face.
 
I chuckled lightly, my left cheek buried into my pillow as I slowly opened an eye, "S'fine."
 
I honestly didn't mind that she had woken me. The sight of her by my side in the morning made up for the fact that my dreams were interrupted. Plus I was dreaming of her anyway, so it didn't really make a difference.
 
"You were talking in your sleep. Dreaming about something?" She asked, letting her head rest on her own pillow as she smiled in my direction.
 
I returned smile and shook my head, "Nothing you should be concerned about, I promise."
 
She accepted that because she trusts me, and maybe her faith in me is a reason to love her.
–
"I want to marry you, Ally." I slurred out, my lips falling into a loose pout as I grinned up at her lazily.
 
"You're drunk, babe." She let out a giggle and I could feel my heart melting at the sound of her beautiful laugh.
 
I shook my head in disagreement, knowing that I meant what I said and I said what I meant. She clearly didn't want to believe me, considering how much alcohol I had consumed. My blood was practically drowning in booze.
 
It's kind of surprising to know she wasn't as intoxicated as I was. She usually drinks as much as I do, but I know she likes to keep herself under control whenever she's around me just so that she doesn't make a fool out of herself. Maybe that's another thing I happen to find lovable about her.
 
"I'm no-o-ot drunk! I want to marry you! You're gonna' be my wife someday, Ally." I defended myself as if the world depended on it, taking advantage of the fact that I was completely wasted.
 
My girlfriend nodded just barely, a small scoff escaping her lips. She may have thought I was just being stupid, but I was sure it would happen someday. Maybe not someday soon, but I was going to have a ring on my left hand and she would have that ring's twin.
–
"Ya' promise me you'll keep it forever?" I confirmed, tilting my chin down as my eyes met hers.
 
She looked down at the old heart pendant in her hands, tangling her fingers in the string that it was attached to.
 
"I promise." She agreed, giving me a small nod before handing it to me and turning around, "Will you put it on for me?"
 
Although it wasn't the kind of necklace you had to unlatch and clip together again, I agreed to it anyway. I pulled the piece of jewelry over her head, finding that the charm rested perfectly over her chest.
 
"I love it." She admitted, turning to face me again as she wrapped her arms around my neck, "And I love you."
– – –
"Sorry, what was that, mate?" I asked my friend, my head tilting to the side to show I was genuinely lost.
 
"You're so terrible at listening. Ally, mate. Do you love her?" He repeated.
 
For once I decided not to answer with just "maybe" like I always did because I knew that wasn't the case. I didn't want to just "maybe" be in love with her.
 
"Yeah." I breathed, smiling a little wider. "Yeah, I do."
==
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For @crystalbella
the lyrics to this song are pretty awesome, just saying. thanks for requesting, lovely. i hope you don't hate the ending as much as i do. :(:
 
© 2013 @coolstory on Polyvore.com
-
I can't exactly tell you what brought me to her. I'd say that it was "just something about her" or that "I simply couldn't get her off of my mind" but that wasn't the case with her. Honestly, she was my last priority at the moment, but for some reason, I found a way to be persistent with her.
 
"Excuse me, Miss?" I called out, putting out my arm as if that would make me seem anymore welcoming.
 
She turned her head to face me, giving me a better look at her. The look in her eyes literally took me straight to her heart. She was broken and lost.
 
"Are, um, are you alright?" I managed to utter out, putting my hands in the pockets of my jeans.
 
"I'm fine." She hissed in response, though we both knew perfectly well she was lying.
 
It was none of my business to keep questioning her, but I couldn't help it. I don't even know why. I'm never the type of person to butt-in to others' lives, especially when I don't have a clue who they are. For all I know, this girl could be a gang-banger or whatever the hell those Americans call it.
 
"You sure? You don't seem very fine." I pointed out, my head tilting to the side as I looked down at her.
 
She was quite beautiful, I had to admit that. Her eyes may have been puffy and her cheeks were pale, but she was stunning.
 
"I'd rather not talk about it with some random stranger." She finally said, shaking her head at me before averting her eyes onto the ground.
 
I sighed softly and gave a small shrug of my shoulders, "Fair enough."
 
I felt a smirk creeping upon my face and took a seat next to her on the wooden park bench. I put my hand out for her to shake, "Louis Tomlinson."
 
I was just glad she didn't flinch at the sound of my name. She stared at my hand for a moment and blinked a few times too many to rid of the tears in her eyes. After what felt like a century, she took my hand and gave it a small shake before resting her arms in her lap.
 
"Elaine Jacobs." She replied and I could have sworn she flashed me a smile.
 
"It's nice to meet you, Elaine." I said with a smile, "Well, now I'm not a random stranger."
 
She scoffed once she realized my cliché move, but she still agreed to play along anyway. She went on telling me about how she came about to be where she is, to be crying on a street corner in the middle of Boston, to have run away from her parents. It was amazing to hear her story, like it was something out of a movie. My mind was literally just feeding off of her words and I couldn't resist wanting to know more about her.
 
I was never like this. Like I said before, I don't usually butt-in to other peoples' lives, but this time, I'm glad I did.
 
We talked for what seemed like years, and by the end of the night, I felt like I'd known more about her than I did about my own mum. I could only imagine if there was more to learn, more to listen about. She was like a never-ending book and I couldn't stop flipping pages.
 
"I'm never like this." She said, almost as if she was repeating my thoughts. "I don't talk about myself like this, I mean."
 
I could see her cheeks turning pink, smirking in her direction, "I'm not usually one to listen to other peoples' life stories, so it looks like we both bring out something new in each other."
 
She let out a giggle, making my heart race a little faster than it already was.
 
"You think that happens for a reason?" She asked, glancing over at me with a comforting look in her eyes.
 
"What's that?" I asked, not sure what she meant by her words.
 
"Do you believe in fate, Louis?"
 
I smirked and began to shake my head before I suddenly stopped myself, my eyebrows knitting together as I thought about it for a moment. Maybe this was fate, like it was our destiny to be brought to each other like this.
 
Well, I'll tell you one thing – It's been nearly four years since I met Elaine in Boston that night and right now, I'm standing at the end of the aisle with my girl right in front of me, dressed in all white with the most beautiful smile on her face.
 
I say "I do" and she says it as well.
 
I guess you could say fate is a bit easier to believe in now.
-
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A/N: This is nothing like I've written before. I just hope this isn't complete crap. ): Also, I love Macklemore more than anyone else, kbye. c:
• Summary is at the bottom in case there are people who don't want me to kill the plot for them.
 
© 2013 @coolstory on Polyvore.com
-
She's looking down at me – the old me – with tears in her eyes and just the sight of that makes my heart ache. I can't take it anymore. I suck in a deep breath of air, or whatever the hell I'm breathing, and put my hand on her shoulder… She doesn't move or turn her head because she can't feel my touch. I wonder if she's just faking that, maybe she /can/ feel me, but she doesn't want to believe I'm there.
 
She drops to her knees and folds her hands over my casket, the tears that fill her eyes slowly streaming down her rosy cheeks. I used to wonder who would cry at my funeral, and I hate knowing that one of those people was – is – her.
 
"I just wanted to be like them. I didn't want it to get like this." I say softly, putting myself in her stance as I kneel down by her side.
 
She doesn't turn her head, still not responding to the fact that I'm two places at once. Technically speaking, I'm almost like two people, yet still the same person. It's complicated, I guess, and considering my terrible way with words, it's practically impossible to explain.
 
"Harry, baby…" She starts, her tone dips and creates a crack in her voice as she says my name. She reaches for my hand – my other hand; the one I can't feel – and holds it so tightly that I can see her knuckles turning white.
 
"Elle, no, I'm right here, baby." I argue aloud even though I know she's not listening.
 
She ignores my words and starts apologizing for reasons I'm not sure of. None of this was her fault, and there was nothing she could have done to stop this from happening. I was addicted – not just to the drugs, but to the dream of being someone else, someone better.
 
You'd think that by the age of nineteen, I would know that being a "cool kid" was an overrated goal, however, I was oblivious to that. It was all I wanted. I craved to be looked up to, to be that guy that everyone wishes they could be or meet. And where did that get me?
 
It got me killed. It got me here; attending my own funeral as a phantom of my old figure.
 
I thought I would forget the memories I lived after going through death, but no, I remember pretty much everything. What's worse is I remember being found after my last breath was already taken. Elle was the one to find me, but she was five minutes too late. She shook me, yelled my name, even slapped my face a couple of times, but I couldn't feel it… Just like how she can't feel my arms wrapped so tightly around her right now.
 
She rises to her feet and out of my ghosted grasp and I can literally hear my heart cracking. It's like the cry of suicide; a sound more intimidating than silence.
 
"I'm not going to say goodbye." She informs my lifeless body, now staring at the ground as she tears her eyes from the sight of me.
 
"I'm not going to say it either." I utter out, shaking my head at her.
 
"I'll be back." She adds before looking at my pale face, "And I love you."
 
She's looking down at me – the old me, the one that she can physically touch and see – with tears in her eyes, and just the sight of that makes my heart ache. I can't take it anymore. So I go back up to where I belong and keep a distance where I can watch her from the sky, from the otherside.
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Summary: After wanting nothing more than to be a "cool kid", Harry Styles has taken his life with an overdose. To put it briefly, he's now a ghost who's forced to pay the price of watching his girlfriend suffer over the loss of her boyfriend.